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28 November 2004

Brown Wants Schools To Take Babies in Private Nurseries

Knowing only the headline, The Antagonist surmises the gist of the story is that someone has devised a plan to install young babies into new, private nurseries so parents are freed of the problems of parental responsibilities. The characteristically New Labour way of fixing the problem of parental responsibilities by tackling the cause of parental responsibilities and removing kids from the parental equation.

So, knowing roughly what is to follow, The Antagonist goes on to read the article finding such gems as, "Under Labour’s plans, primary schools will be funded to set up private fee-paying day nurseries for infants and young children, as well as providing breakfast clubs and after-school activities for their pupils" spill forth from the screen.

The Antagonist asks the question, "Why would anyone suggest that removing newborn children from the care of their parents might be a good idea?"

From a governmental point of view this proposed scheme has a number of obvious advantages; Firstly, you can extort additional monies from parents for the 'service' being rendered.

Secondly, you dramatically increase the available work force (extensively so when done in conjunction with increasing retirement ages) by providing the means by which both parents can eschew any claim to maternity and paternity rights and duties, simultaneously making each and every other worker onsiderably less valuable (read: cheaper).

Thirdly - and most alarmingly - under the proposed new plans the hearts and minds of all new born children in the UK would effectively be under government control from a far younger age than ever before. Children are usually sacrificed to the woefully underachieving education system in Britain at the age of four. Under these new plans, this four year buffer period during which parents impart essential life skills to their child prior to allowing them to enter the education system and the world at large will be entirely removed, leaving children exposed to whatever sights, sounds and activities (Two Minutes Hate?) the government deems appropriate almost immediately they are born.

Indeed, in some parts of the country, similar schemes are already underway, and, "...[at St Bede’s primary school in Bolton] The nursery takes 40 children aged from six weeks to four years. Parents can leave their children from 7.30am to 6pm for a fee of £110 a week."

Before long, it'll be another £50 a week to leave them in overnight from Monday to Friday and the government will throw in extra weekend board options so neither parent has to bear the burden of sitting in school run traffic jams in a 4x4 full of screaming kids.