"Hello homeless person. I'm William from Buckingham Palace, the world's biggest and oldest DOSSHOUSE. It's a rather jolly place but sometimes the soups are a bit salty."
Maybe he'll persuade his nan to give the fucking land back.
If The Antagonist has anything to do with brokering the deal, she can keep the swans.
[Fade to soft-focus shot of a scruffy looking queen staggering around the streets of WC1 (ho ho ho, WC One / One's WC, ho ho ho) clutching a bottle of cheap cider and trailing a bit of string attached to a scruffy looking swan.]